Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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