Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
