I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
