I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
