her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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