just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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