Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
