You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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