Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
