It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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