I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
