TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
