Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
