id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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