Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize