I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
