this beer tastes like vomit already
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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