Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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