apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
