he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have aggressive nipples.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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