My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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