So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
