No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
