Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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