Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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