I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
