his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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