Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
