nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
