Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
