More tranny stories later!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
