In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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