Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize