Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
