NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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