I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
