her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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