Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
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cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.