i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
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I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.