yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
