yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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