i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
