all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
this will be a night to untag.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
