it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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