I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
