For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
