11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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