Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
