Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
