never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
