In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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