You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
