I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
