I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
