It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
