That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
