only if we run a train.
done.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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