After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
