Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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