i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
