every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize